Saturday, June 18, 2011

Some Butt Head is Flapping His Ignorance Hole About "A Box"

Talking a lot of jibber jabber about fear, judgement and conformity.

This is the essay about "A Box" that you should be reading instead.

Did this man care about "boxes?"

Spell - Dead Men Tell No Tales

3rd level magic-user spell
Range: touch
Duration: permanent
When cast upon the remains or portion of the remains of a deceased individual this spell erases the subject's memories, thusly disabling the use of speak with dead upon the corpse. If the subject is brought back to life by any means they are allowed a saving throw versus spells to recover their memories in 1-100 days. Those who arise in an undead state are allowed no saving throw.

Friday, June 17, 2011

What I Learned From Death Frost Doom (spoiler)

If you are adventuring in a mileau that has undead and your are exploring a dungeon and you find rooms with doors containing butt-loads of corpses, iron spike the doors shut.

Next time I play D&D I'm triple confirming that I have iron spikes in my inventory!

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Firestorm Coming Closer - Napalm To The Bone / The Claw!

Nowadays 99% of the music I listen to is Motorhead. I listen to Motorhead to keep awake on my way to work. I listen to Motorhead when I'm about to come uncunted with the endless shit buffet of work. I listen to Motorhead when I'm trying to stay awake on my way home from work. I listen to Motorhead to get psyched up on my way to write night exams.

There's 3 reasons I can't stop smoking. Work, school and Motorhead. When I need guidance from a higher power I play a random Motorhead song. When the missus gives me hell for wearing trashed clothes I'm confused, they'd be good enough for someone in Motorhead to wear.


This magic item appears to be a heavy articulated gauntlet of rusty iron adorned with images of skulls, chains, iron crosses and some sort of helmed, tusked boar-monster.

Once every night the wearer may select a member of the opposite sex (or of the same gender if they are of homosexual or bisexual inclination); the wearer will have an 18 charisma in regards to their target until dawn, who must also make a save vs. spells or fall under the equivalent of a charm person spell until dawn while also disregarding all current romantic and/or sexual partners.

When worn The Claw functions as a +1 magic weapon, striking for 2-7 points of damage.

Jewel Throne Update and 3E Monster Book Query

1) I'm writing the mathematics final for this term on Tuesday and than I'm stone free from school concerns until July 4th (at which point I'm also switching to 5 hour work days... Heaven!). So next week I'll be commencing with the assembly and layout of the Jewel Throne material.

I'm embarrassed by the ridiculous delay, the product of a collision between the JT blowing up bigger than I imagined and being overwhelmed by the combination of working and schooling (I'm a lazy man by nature).

2) What were the good 3/3.5 monster books with open content? I only used the Tome of Horrors in those days ( indication why old tyme D&D suits me: I buy every monster book I can find) although I recall the Kalamar book having some swell content. Frankly I thought a lot of 3E monsters were like something out of final fantasy or pokemon but there was good stuff.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

15 Days Left to Order Tome of Horrors Complete...

The news is Here and Here, order Here.

Sure $99 seems steep, but compare it to the price of a sports jersey, a new video game or a tank of gas...

I can't wait to get my meathooks on it (or my digital meathooks on the PDF)!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Question Re. Stonehell

The author of Stonehell, Michael Curtis, wrote one of my favorite adventures, "The Fane of St. Toad."

I'm curious how Stonehell compares to The Fane; The Fane has giant toads, a CA Smith vibe, is lurid and pulpy, so it's completely up my alley.

I don't know much about Stonehell, but I get the impression it's a traditional BD&D dungeon with kobolds and the like, which doesn't seem to be my bag.

I'm wondering if I have a mistaken impression and Stonhell is indeed lurid and pulpy?

We Live in a World Where Children Watch Saw Movies And Listen To Cannibal Corpse..,

LOTFP grindhouse edition artwork ain't jack poop compared to the Kali Yuga-esque depravity of contemporary society and it's ephemera.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Anomalous Subsurface Environment Released!

I'm a little late in the game to be cheerleading this, but everytime I've been reminded of it I've only had my primitive iPhone handy (crap for blog posts)

But Patrick Wetmore of Henchman Abuse has released the first part of his gonzo science-fantasy megadungeon "The Anamalous Subsurface Environment" in PDF and POD.

"Put those dark elves back in their box and get your gonzo on! Riches, glory, and super-science await the bold and the clever in the deep places under the ground. This module describes the dinosaur- and wizard-infested future of the Earth, the city of Denethix, and the first level of the megadungeon that beckons from below: the Anomalous Subsurface Environment."

I haven't grabbed a copy yet (budgeting...) but I definately will. I have an adventure by Pat for The Jewel Throne that is awesome and oh-so Jack Vancian, and Melan/Gabor Lux gives it his seal of approval, so I'm sure this thing is a real barn-burner. Plus is is the first part of a alpha-numerically coded series ("ASE1") which I would like to see more of in the OSR.

No Dignity in Death is my favorite LOTFP module

And by that I mean ESPECIALLY the second part; holy freaking Jack Vance-ian.

I wish James Raggi would write a telephone book sized anthology of similar adventures (and that Melan/Gabor Lux would write a similar sized volume of adventure locales AND that Michael Curtis would produce an anthology of dungeons in the vein of The Fane of St. Toad).

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Gorice, 6th level AD&D Magic-User

LOTFP is Poe, DCC is Lin Carter

LOTFPRPG is cold and tight (tight as in John Carpenter's score for Escape From New York) whereas DCCRPG is brash, lurid and sloppy (like underground horror comics and death metal band Autopsy).

While reading the DCC beta Appendix N personage and notorious hack (don't get me wrong, I love the guy AND The Worlds End Series IS amazing) Lin Carter repeatedly comes to mind. It is certainly apropos that a game that is a mish-mash of sundry editions of D&D and Appendix N reminds me so strongly of the sword & sorcery enthusiast and pastiche workhorse Lin Carter.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

WE ARE 138!!! and a Quick Idea for Gaming Tekumel...

138 followers that is; you haveno idea how long I've been waiting to post this video. Now I can go back to not carring about the numbers.

Anyways, it struck me today that one of the grievances against gaming in Tekumel is that "it would be a confusing exercise in anthropology-porn" or some nonesense.

Now I love Tekumel; I love reading about Tekumel; but I don't care one bit about understanding the whole of Tekumel and expressing it properly.

To me Tekumel is a Jack Vance novel. Everyone looks like a character from Apocalypto or the Bhadava Ghita but meanwhile there's a whole lot of polite verbal swordplay a la PG Woodehouse and The Importance of Being Ernest going on. Hereby comes the integral conflict of Tekumel: it's a bunch of painted dudes with feathers stuck through their noses (who are totally into the impalements, human sacrifices, bloodsports and ritualized warfare) that are immersed in a seething Comedy of Manners.

In my imagination every human on Tekumel speaks with a sterotypical, olde tyme "British Upper Class Twit" accent. Ahhogya have some sort of "Uhg! Guvnehr!" labourer accent, etc. Conversations are as follow:

"Pardon me for this unseemly interruption my good sir. I must apolgize but we are woefully unfamiliar with your delighful city and were wondring if you could be kind enough to provide directions?"

"Gentlemen, your termerity is appalling! Surely you must be aware that accosting a personage of my station is considered a grave assault upon decency. You mustl hold me blamless whilst you are writhing upon on the impalement stakes as society itself demands such consequences."

"There must be some misunderstanding? We are only seeking direct... Sir! Please unhand me sir! Gentle lord, could you please order your employees to unhand us? I believe there has been some misund... AAARRGHHHHUGHHHHH!!!! THE PAIN OF IMPALMENT!!!! MY BOWELS!!!!"

Friday, June 3, 2011

Zombie Plesiosaurs...

To the best of my knowledge, there's an appalling lack of zombie plesiosaurs in the rpg world.

That is all.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

You can never be too rich, too thin, or have too many monster books...

Actually I don't care about being rich and body image issues are a serious problem, but I freaking love monster books.

So I'm pretty jazzed about the impending August release of Frog Gog/Necromancer Games' "Tome of Horrors Complete."

This 1000-page "monster" of a tome (har har har) consists of critters from the three Necromancer Games Tome of Horrors in both Swords and Wizardry (sigh... no morale score or hoard class) and Mathfinder versions.

The S&W wizardry version, due to the brevity of the stat blocks, also includes write ups of lairs/hex descriptions for each monster. Initially I was dubious of this scheme, considering it padding, but when I read that Jon Slater of NOD was responsible for these write ups my position completely reversed based on the awesomeness of the hex contents in the Nod material I have read; I have no doubt these are going to be wild!

The preorder period expired as of today, and the books are shipping in August, and I'm bemused by the lack of a buzz regarding this product. Certainly it carries a hefty price tag, especially with shipping factored in, but come on, 700 Necromancer Game monsters with Nod style lairs/encounters? Compared with how expensive everything is nowadays, such as console games, dining out, or boardgames, this strikes me as a solid return on your entertainment/hobby dollars. And the word is that the binding will be top-notch.

Plus if have an uppity power gamer with a sense of entitlement at your table you can use this hefty, well-bound book to knock some sense and respect for the DM into their thick skull... *POW!*